Making plans

How many of you get frustrated when making plans with friends?

Yes? No? Never make plans. Just go with the flow?

Sadly I am a control freak. Or should I say, a planning perfectionist. I LOVE to have every single activity planned out, confirmed, and lodged in my calendar. I used to draw a map each time I visited a new city, until Google Map came up with pinned locations. If I didn’t have reservation for dinner, I’d rather eat McDonald’s. Why? Because surprises stress me out, rather those unwanted surprises.

So I have a few close friends. Just like you, I’d be sharing my darkest secrets, deepest sadness, and happiest moments with those girls. They are a big part of my life. They probably know me better than myself. People say true friends travel together. Yes, we didn’t slit each other’s throat on any of our trips together. We may bicker once a while, but we love one another, to the moon and back.

If 2020 happened in a different universe where COVID-19 didn’t exist, we may have had a higher success rate of meet-ups. But because I am stuck in this universe, the four of us only met three times together in the last 10 months, of course all through virtual hangout.

2020 is a busy year – I got a puppy. Sophie delivered a beautiful baby girl, on my birth date, at home( birthday twins and home birth, double whammy)! Zoe found out that she’s pregnant in June, a little while after her birthday. And Angela was promoted at work. We all experience somewhat of a milestone in life. But unfortunately, none of those were celebrated properly, together with friends.

I tried to suggest an actual real-life gathering a few times. But just like every other time, even before the pandemic, we couldn’t find a time that worked for everyone. We are just ordinary people and somehow, we all got crazy schedules. How did this happen?

Life happened, I suppose.

Career stress, parenting, intimacy issues, alternative lifestyle. Everyday, we are faced with hundreds of small or catastrophic challenges only adults would understand. And we have to arm ourselves, head to toes, to fight those impossible fights at any time. Since when, we were too occupied and lost contact with the friends that were dearest to us? And do those adulthood excuses justify the lost of friendship?

I don’t want to live in memories. I want to continue creating those beautiful memories with my dearest friends. Getting rejected does hurt. But losing them would hurt even more. So I guess there isn’t going to be an easy way out. I care too much to quit.

Girls, I will persistently message you, plan things to do with you, even if it means only 5% of those things become reality one day. But, friends for life, right?