More than 40% marriages end up in divorce. True or false?
In my culture, divorce used to be frowned upon. It’s viewed as a total failure, not just in marriage, in everything.
I know a friend who went on a Chinese dating show three years ago and matched with one of the guests who became his future wife. They have a beautiful story. But how did they get matched? Certainly not love at first sight, per se. It was the choice of the audience. Although the second half of the show didn’t get aired, my friend told me the audience strongly believed he, as the only male divorcee contestant, must pair with the only female divorcee.
Granted, that’s Asian society for you. It doesn’t stop people from openly discussing about their divorces. Sometimes, the conversation takes place over a drink. Sometimes, it’s on a bike ride. If feels like half of the people I know are busy getting married, and they other half are filing for a divorce.
Is marriage a lemon?
So what happened to us?
Many of these new divorces happened within the first 10 years of marriage. The process is painful but getting one done through our Canadian legal system is rather easier than ever.
We are all entitled to happiness. If a relationship brings out the worst version of you, you shouldn’t have to be trapped in it. But don’t jump ship just because quitting seemed easier. If you didn’t get married for the wrong reasons, or staying with someone is endangering your life, please give it your 120% before quitting.
We all adore our grandparents. Because they are always together. We tear up when seeing an elderly couple holding hands crossing the street. It’s in our nature to seek companionship. Inevitably, the physical attraction will fade and the intimacy will disappear. But that’s not all marriage is about. If you are patient enough, you may realize all relationships evolve and become something else eventually. Plus, the next new thing won’t be shiny forever.
There are three fundamental elements in a marriage – physical interaction, emotional support, and financial stability. However, it’s impossible to ask one person for all our desires. So pick the most important two out of three, and be grateful for what we have. Bicker less, and share more. Maybe one day we will become that old couple.